Words, spoken, and never taken back
Half finished sentences
Unkept promises
Tears, stuck in the throat
Eyes, looking, searching, understanding
Seeing...and then really seeing...
Shadows
Figures, in the dark side of light.
Clouds, rain clouds
Water, splashing on unsure toes
Soap bubbles, laughter
Hands, palms wide open
Wind between my fingers
Freedom...
11 comments:
crumbs, is this you? notice a change in ur writing style..more like a "settled" writing...:)
Its really nice. I am actually quite stumped cuz I just did not expect a poem like this out of you.
It is like you have accepted the past and beginning to enjoy aspects you love about today!
Hoping for the same future for u… Love
@ vrinda
Hmmm...I wrote this more than a year ago...so, to be honest your comment stumps me.
@ tsu
Again, I dunno how to react to that comment. I guess this acceptance of past and enjoying the present is something that I do periodically :D
hey! I dropped in here while reading some of the blogs. I liked the poem you have written. Incomplete things always leave sweet memories which turn bitter when you have to compromise on living with- not completing them.
hhmmm ... deep .. but may i ask ..are you thinking of missed chances ..
Donno I may be wrong , but seems somewhat like that
@ wanderer
I always thought that incomplete things have a weird sweetness, and a spirit that complete things can never have...compromises, I think are not incomplete...in fact there is nothing more complete and over with thing than a compromise...and yes, it leaves no space for happiness.
thanks for wandering by :)
@ screwdriver...
it could be :) see the point was that I did not know what I was thinking when I wrote this non-poem, it's just one of those -wrote itself type of thingy. That's part of the reason why I decided to put this up after like a year...just to see what people make out of it...
uhm.. i'm poem challenged.
but that is exactly how i'd feel out of the bathroom after being in a loooong meeting, with a very bad wanting to pee all the while.
intense! :)
There's romance in the 'half finished', and you've captured it beautifully in your cropped and clipped verse.
The 'shadows' hold promise as do those 'rain clouds' floating down your 'river'. The question is does this 'river' lead into a 'bay' or an 'ocean' of 'freedom'?
A captivating read!
the poem is so full of movements. surge of unfettered words. promises that miss the yellow dot and fly off. everything moves: shadows, clouds, soap bubbles; hands open; wind runs through the finger-gaps.
there is only one block: the tears - they get blocked in the throat. and they are just at the heeels of half-sentences and unkept promises.
i dont think they are tears of happiness. they are (probably) those that spurt when 'breaking free' surfaces as an event. and in that stagnation, that stasis, everything the whole vigor, dynamism, movement - everything gathers a rare beauty, as how bright sunlight mixes with glassy rainthreads in a breezy evening. lovely poem, (or non-poem as you would have it :P)
@ toothless
:D and u say u don't get poetry
@ id,
the question is perhaps not about where the river leads at all...maybe its just ought to be. Somehow, bay is never associated with freedom...weird huh?
@ arun
:) your comment makes me look at the non-poem (:P) again...and in a different light. u're the kind of critic that I guess everyone would pray to have =)
isn't breaking free also in a lot of ways an unfinished business type thing? you can never really break free can you? there is some part of you that is inevitably left behind...one memory, maybe a moment, or a glance, but it's there...
maybe we're all fragments, of the various people we once were...and i'm think, maybe that's a good thing...
"how bright sunlight mixes with glassy rainthreads in a breezy evening" thanks, it's one of the best things said about anything i've ever written :)
your poem DESERVED a deeper read.
as for "can we ever break free?", well, im not man enough to answer that. better mettles were broke on that wall. as unsure we are about the 'yes' of it, we could be unsure of the 'no' too - at least till we try either of these answers with the seriousness they deserve.. right?
sunlight/water/breeze, they were all amassed in your 'soap bubble': i didnt invent it :) that compliment belongs rightfully to you.
keep writing.
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