Friday, March 31, 2006

Looking back to where it all began

My second post....rather my first real post. These days I seem to be spending quite a bit of time refreshing it while filling those endless scrap books, or finding my old school community in orkut, or actually visiting that old school when I went home. So thought will do that here too...well, plus that also hides the fact that I just too lazy to post...

"I thought I'd start with me. i'm...well...confused! clueless more precisely! there was a time,not so long ago when i thought that i knew who i'm. and then life took over! life, for some inexplicable reason decided that enough was enough, n i, this teeny tiny(well, not SO tiny perhaps!) being in this big bad world, should not be allowed to have such huge misconceptions about myself. so it (i'll settle for 3rd person, coz i'm not sure if life's gal or a guy) made my "higher mental processes" in motion...that's just a fancy way of saying that i started pondering over things (well my dear close friends call it "brooding over nonsense" n "thinking too much" n other such less flattering names, but lets not get into that right now). and THEN i realised that there is a hell lot that i dont know bout myself. i thought i was a pretty mature person, but then why do my feelings seem so trivial and kiddish at times? i thought i was strong, but then how come i get so easily hurt at times? how can i be friends who, are not only totally different from me, but are opposites to each other too? how can i hate mush in real life, but still enjoy romantic comedies? hell i didnt even know what my fav colour was! (ahem...i still can't make up my mind on that!!!)...since then i've been always trying to figure me out...well without much success, fortunately or unfortunately!

anyways, it's been kinda fun being me though! have had a pretty decent life so i can tell u the basics. was born to malayalee parents, which makes me a keralite...n for a good nine years of my life i was in gud ol' kerala. but in 4 diff cities though. my dad has a transferable job, so every three years we all(that's me, my dad, my ma, n a bro) pack our bags n hopp to the next place that becokns. this kind of a gypsy's life suited me. we got to see, n learn a lot of things that people who are permanently rooted in a place miss out on...diffrent people, different cultures, n blah like that. but cant say it come without a price...i've no sense of stability in life, in the sense, there is no place that i call home, coz that has always changed, before i could make any permanent affections. home's just where my folks are, n that's gud enough for me actually.

well, schools...went to KVs mostly, then a brief 2 years in a public school in delhi, n nw in college, doing what i wanted to do since i was 8 years old...journalism. n here again is the catch. i fought with my whole clan, who like all gud mallus believe that engineering n medicine are the only decent profession for any kid to take up, to get into journalism. n now, after 2 n a half years, i'm not sure! can u beat that?well, i knw for sure that i wanna be a part for this huge world of media, but am i ready to take on the cynicism that is part an parcel, n these days the main component of journalism? dunno...well i've another 6 months to decide. n well, there is still hope! that, think is enough bout me in a post. even i cant take too much of me so there!

cheers to life(u see, beyond the confusion n crap, i still love IT! ;)

posted by moontalk @ 7:25 AM

Well, that was 8 months ago...not much has changed now either. I'm still clueless about me, n well...still completely in love with life! So much for old memories!! :)

1 comment:

Nikki said...

Nice post...this reminds me of the book i read recently..u know the hardest thing in this world is to know urself...its kind of weird when u think abt it men conquer everything in this world but can't master themselves..