Thursday, January 26, 2006

What colour is Oblivion?

Today in Sudu's class for O.E (Sudu is our drama teacher, Mr. Sudhamshu, spelt with an 'm', Sudu with love:)), we watched the docu, 'Final Soluton' Rakesh Sharma. We are reading Mahesh Dattani's play, 'Final Solutions', n Sudu always tries to got that extra mile with his classes, so the screening. Though I do have a hunch that the fact that all of us blattenly refused wake up from our bored stupor n participate in the discussions last class, which made him order us to "bugger off", 15 mins into class, may have played a small role!

To be very honest, it was not all the easy to digest...the docu I mean. Sure all of us have heard a lot bout the imfamous Godhra riots. Read a lot, seen a lot. But it still pulled your heart right out of ur ribcage, n twisted it bad to watch a li'l kid...probably not even 5 years old say that he saw his grandpa n uncles being brutally murdered. That he saw his dad's fingers being chopped off wen he tried to save them. That his mother, his aunt were stripped right in front of his eyes, before their limbs where chopped off. He wondered, why they stripped only the womenfolk. But even in his innocent mind, he knew who "they" were..."woh Hindu log hai na..."

I could feel the anger swell inside me as I heard Praveen Togadia proclaim to the crowds, that we need to forget Gabdhi to "fight injustice". I could feel the sorrow, wen a lady cried that she saw poor starving infants being thrown into the fire...that she still gets nightmares. Wen the cemetry keeper told the camera man that he'd lose his mind if he saw the scratches, the wounds on the breasts of the dead bodies of women brought to be buried...

We couldn't watch the whole docu...the 55 mins of class didnt permit. So we decided to wait till the next class to continue.

As I was walking out of the media lab, I was already thinking about the psychology presentation I had to make for the next class. Got out, saw Danny, smiled at her. She smiled back, n commented, "Not one of the best way to start my way". For a minute, I stared at her blankly. Didnt get wat she was referring to. Then it hit me. The docu. Can u believe it? I had already forgotten! I, who was so deeply affected by the plight of those hapless thousands. So deeply angered by the injustce of it all. Deeply affected! My own hypocracy shocked me.

What was wrong with me? What is wrong with all of us? How could we forget? How did we allow ourselves to soon? So easily?

"Those who forget history are condemded to relive it" George Somebody. And so we re...reliving it...time after time. Godhra. Mumbai. Babri Masjid. Delhi. Bhopal...time after time

What have I really seen in life? I ve not known real hunger...the one that pinches. I ve not seen war. Not seen hatred...the kind that makes u kill unborn children. I dont know what suffering is. Does that mean what I've seen in life is all a dream? An illusion? Meaningless waste? Do I really realise how fortunate I am? Or am I?

I know pain. BUT I also know what it is to be loved. What it is to be liked...AND disliked. I can see beauty in life, in this world. I can feel the joy of walking in the rain, of staring at a starlit sky, of walking barefoot on wet grass...of feeling the sea waves touch my feet n go...I can look at a child smile at me, and feel happy to be alive.

But what bout that li'l kid? Will he look at midnight sky filled with a million stars, n realise that God must love us guys down here..or will he relive the horrors of that horrible night when all his people, his world, were brutually destroyed? Will that lady ever get a peaceful nights's sleep...without the nightmares? can u make the same world so diffrent for 2 people at the same time?

Ms. Know-it-all asked: Will u remember that kid tmorrow?
I hope I never ever forget...again.

Monday, January 23, 2006

running thru the rain

one awesome of my all time favs!

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Wal-Mart. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence.
It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Wal-Mart. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child come pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in
"Mom, let's run through the rain," she said.
"What?" Mom asked. "Let 's run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain," "We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?" said Mom. "Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's' life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But..... But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A friend sent this to me to remind me of life. Hope you enjoy it. I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Take the time to live...and don't forget to run in the rain!

Sunday, January 22, 2006


this is it. our last communiquere. our last DC. 3 years 3 years....
it was at communiquere 2003 that we first went on stage for dc. 5 mins b4 regisration closed we hadnt even decided that we'll go. we were not even a team. n then we were on stage. we even did good. sailed thru the prelims. all of a sudden, we were a team. me, tsu, n sady.' the instincts'. we had friends cheering for us. it felt gud. we even had a fighting chance of winning. that was b4 we were disqualified in the last round. sady got a li'l over excited n forgot that u were supposed to keep ur mouth shut while miming. well, for a person for whom keeping her mouth shut is the wrost form of torture, well cant blame her. real dumb-dumb-see!
well i dunno how many dcs we've lost since then. actualy i do. all. but we went to every single one since then. me,tsu,sady. n the managers! n we had awesome fun. atleast in the beginning. the endless practices that i used to drag those 2 into. sady got pretty bored pretty soon. tsu lasted a bit more :) but my enthusiasm never faded.
but we had fun all the while. ass we liked it! it used to be quite hilarious. we'd get he most difficult things. we got 'abyss'. we couldnt get 'contact'. we NEVER got casa blanca. we always found serendipity! sady drew a cycle to show 'greece' (!). tsu cld ve kill us for not getting material girl. hey!we got circle of life didnt we!?
communiqure 2006. day 1. we lost our second last dc. didnt even make it to the finals. tsu was upset.
communiqure 2006. day 2. our second last dc. n my team ditched me.
tsu came n asked me if its ok if she goes wit san n sush for this one. i said yes . was it ok? no, it wasnt. was i hurt? yes i was .3 years we had been a team. our last chance. we may not have made it.but then we wld not have made it together. tsu told me later that she wanted to win...or atleast try to. for me, it dc was not jst another competetion. it was something that we did together. it meant that we understood what the other was trying to say. even wen they didnt open their mouths. it was bout us being friends. us connecting.
well, i was upset. but as usual, my pride n my ego stopped me from showing it.
then bhavna asked me to join wid them. i refused even before she actually asked. i dint wanna go without my team. but then i did. my last dc. i wanted to go. wat the heck. jus coz we re not going together, i didnt wanna miss it. sady said they asked her too. but she said she didnt wanna ditch me n go. i appreciate that sadz. n i really wish we cld go together.
honestly speaking, i dint expect to have much fun wid bhavna n vidz.afterall we went against them for a gud 3 years. but then i did. infact i had awesome fun! we made thru the prelims...jus barely! n then wat followed was quite simply hilarious!
we took like half a minute t0 get 'impotence' in the 'bumper sticker round'..."screw? screw! oh u've not been screwed? virgin! its virgin! oh its i guy??? wat do u call a guy who's a virgin??? its still virgin!there's no other word woman!!! aaarrrgh! oh u cant screw...oh!oh!shit! its impotent!impotent! impotency? ok impotence!" oh lord!!! u shld ve seen the way vidz struggled to act it out! hw i wish i cld ve taped it n put it up here! she all but showed the finger to the 2 of us for taking that long! outrageously HILARIOUS! everyone was in splits.
then the second word was 'god'...suddenly i realised i kw this one! i got all excited! vidz got all excited! bhavna got all exicted "i kw this one! impotence is god's way of saying something...aaarg wat thing? i cant get it! oh oh! impotence is god's way of saying no hard feelings!!!!" yippee!!! me n bhavna, thus narrowly missed getting murdered by vidz, who in the celebration that we got it, forgot that we took almost half the time to get the first word! man! it was jus out of the world fun!
the lyric round were we almost got the song...wld ve if it didnt take us like 1 min to get 'hero'...we went as far as justice league! vidz had to go thru the nike adline 'jst do it' for us to get 'doing'(she cld ve jst refered us to the bumper sticker round ;)!) world trade center got us 'trade'. i had a 'total recall' in the last minute! bhavna forgot wat vidz's fav buk'l women...nw i will never forget!
we cld ve won...almost! but then this team from mounts came n literally sang their way to the first place. we came third. good enough. i had fun doing dc like never'd ve been ok even if we didnt place.
strange the way things turn out isn't it? the one time we won, was the one time i went without my team. one time i had the most amazin fun was wen i tot i'd be miserable. weird me n a funny world.
ms.know-it-all said: maybe this was god's way of saying no hard feelings!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

stirred but not shaken!

so! i'm back from pondi. in one piece..lil broken here n there but, essentially together still!
i really dunno what to say bout it actually. it was kinda what i expected it to be...weird. not much of an 'adventure' but i guess we used up all of our share of the adventure in getting into the bus to pondi itself. woah man! some advebture that was too!

18 of us, at the KSRTC bus stand. frankie has all our tickets, n at 9.45 p.m., the dude's still 'stuck intraffic'. so we all got jus a wee bit worried. but annavaru(copyrights to nikki!) came at last. now jus wen we thought all our problems were solved, we were told they had jus begun.
so problem no. 2: none of us had no clue where exactly the bus came...the bus stop is a HUGE affair! so wat do we do? all of us wait at one spot while gud ol' frankie runs round he place trying to figure out. once a while, we run from behind him. finally after some 20 odd minutes of chaos n utter confusion n jammed networks n frank getting lost every other min, we come to knw that the bus's actually at the other end of the stand, n we've all of 10 mins to get there. RUUUNNN!!!! imagine the sight- 18 of us, with all our bags n baggage, running across the bus station like a coupla crazy maniacs. oh lord! the ones at the back cldnt see the ones in front, all of us terribly scared that we'll either be lost, or will miss the bus! ah but we did get there eventually...someone upstairs musta felt pity on our plight!

the trip was kinda standing proof for murphy's law. never realised that there are somany ways things an go wrong!

so here are the weird tit-bit tales for those 2 fateful days!

=shyam...the 'star' of the trip!he held up his hand, so that we cld see which direction to run at the bus stop...follow the guiding star!

=reaching at pondi, n suddenly having no place to stay! rocky beach n a pay n use loo to save the day. with cute french guys around no one complained!

=finally finding a place 8 kms away...n wat place! a wooden shack made on four pillars...tree house of sorts. sexy! so no one belts frank. hats off instead dude!

=hitting the beach in the morn, hittin the beach in the nite, hitting the beach again the next morn, AND again in the eve...basically two days we did nothing but be on the beach. did i hear anyone complain but???

=half a night spend on the beach...full moon, stars, cool wind, high tide, n waves kissing my feet...a sea that's so much fun n thats how i define HEAVEN!!

=certain scandalous pics being taken!mangal pandey istyle scenes on the beach...well well for the fear of libel n defamation, i shall keep the fine details to myself!;0

=tsu who discovered that she has a future in paparazzi journalism waitin for her!

=to boms, who was NOT drunk, who DID NOT get a high, n who DID NOT want to catch a live ostrich from the sea. boy! he was jus too cute! hilarious!

=to nets, who actually got high on tomatoes! can bad food n cranky mood effect ur head???

=food that SUCKED, n aunty (the caretakers wife), who gave our hungry souls salvation with the most devine dosas n puris :)

=to santosh checking out guys...for tsu of course! excuses! excuses!

=to neha, staying awake till 5 in the morn to bachaofy her guy's nnanam n maanam! oh lord hilarious!!!

=to sady, for lying still for i dunno how long, coz she cldnt turn the other way for certain undisclosable reasons!

=to frank n rads n santosh...who spent the nite on the beach for the lack of space to sleep! poor things!

=to the unindentified good samaritan who switched off the fan in our cottage, sometime early the morn, when all of us were dying of cold, but were too lazy to get up!

=to the cute foreigner, who folded his hands n a cute namaste when he crossed my path in my early morn walk in beach

=to the lady who was picking up the trash from the beach...jus coz she loved the beach n wanted it to be clean for others

=falling off the cycle some 3 diffrent times, but still managing to ride it!ha!determination!(well, n getting hurt, AND infecting the wound, AND 2 drips to the doc, getting yelled by tsu, my folks, my bro AND my bro's friend for being careless with the wound :( )

Thursday, January 12, 2006

All my bags are still waiting to be packed!!!

We're gonna be off! Finally after 3 longs years of delibration n consideration, n planning, n unplanning, 3rd JPEng has FINALLY decided to take off to Pondicherry for the weekend!Ye!Ye!Ye!
rite!now that i've given a gud happy start to the story,lemme reveal the swalpa bitter truth!some 20 of us from a class of 51 re taking off!tickets re booked,for us to go, and more importantly come back!AND for us to park our u-know-whats for the one night we re gonna be there! n its gonna be the weirdest bunch of people who re gonna be there...all psychos, all nuts, some with issues to fight out, some dying for the lack of one! oh well! shld be awesome fun...n no i'm NOT kidding!
me has all my friends with mua, except for dear burger, who's refsed to come claiming "personal reasons". yeah yeah danny, we all knw how "personal" that is!or shld i say who is???;) wish u cld come da!
evil plans to get certain unsuspecting souls drunk are already on the blue print of some diabolic minds...while certain others are all set to get drunk n settle some old scores...hmmm...need to watch wat i sip!but then, aint i one with the conspirators???
so ppl!will tell ya all the gory details upone return!wish me bon voyage!!!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

To ALL...with love!

So!Another year ended, and another year started! A friend asked, "Do u even feel that it's a new year?" the answer honestly, i realised is no. does it really make any diffrence if it's now 06 in the dateline instead of 05??? life will go on as it did yeaterday. and the day before.
But i guess i'm gonna see quite a few changes on '06 for sure, and funnily enough, so will most people i know, it seems.
so this post is for all those wonderful people in my life!hope the new year's filled with exciting challenges n delightful changes!:)

-> to my acha n ma...cha's retiring, and for a person who's as hardworking n committed as he's this will be a boring change. hope u find something that appeals to u, n will keep u happily busy cha.

ma...coz she's always been cha's partner in every crime... his feelings, his tensions are more hers than his :)

a couple whose relationship, n love for each other i respect and envy more than anyother in the entire world. glad u've each other ma n acha!i love u both so much!

-> to my bro...he's the most amazing guy i know. hope all his dreams find reality this year. there are few people who deserve a beautiful happy life more than him, God. Cheta, u're the best!

-> to amazing gal! my best friend. my worst critic. my wonder wall. hope u find what u want AND what u need buddy!

-> to divya first EVER best friend. with marriage on the cards, hope u do get a guy who folds up his newspaper neatly once he's done reading :)

-> to dilip cheta...a beautifully happy future to u n ur anu!!!

-> to dannyboy...may Midday AND The Hindu fight for u. n a certain wish comes true...UNQUESTIONABLY!

-> to dear buddy from school days, who keeps popping in n out of my life. hope ur attempts to start from the 'top of the ladder' meet considerably more amounts of success!;)

-> to killikins...para-psychology calling!this time around, i'll ask the souls in purgatory to pray for u instead(cheeky grin!)

->to susha...madam legally brunette blond (!). stay just as cute in westminster!!!

->to of the nicest people i know giving up direction for sports psychology???hey who's gonna cast me in the lead in the movie then?:( u'll be the best in watever u do mate!

->to chuchu(ponderer??)...ok i dont know what u want anymore, but i hope u do get it :) .be happy...u deserve to be.

->to boms...good luck with the double MA n IAS buddyboy!never ever tell my mom bout it!phew!u never cease to amaze me with the amount of work u can one like ya...stay the same!

-> and finally, n of course most importantly, me! i hope i find some clarity in my life(that i've been hoping for the past 3 years...maybe i'll be 4th time lucky, wats the harm in hoping?), and i hope i get a job, AND the courage to be on my own in a big bad beautiful world


P.s. from Ms.Know-it-all: ->To GOD...good luck with the nutters of ur world! :)

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

talk about hopes!

got this in a mail!all i can say is...please come true!please come true!!!pleeeeaaase come true!!!!:)

man!its like everything i wanted this year to be!
2006: Leo Overview

As the year begins, you may feel torn between putting in more time at work and giving yourself some quality time alone. You can find the right balance if you manage your time wisely, and if you remember to 'measure twice and cut once.' Do it right the first time. During February, your primary relationship will keep you busy. If you're not attached as the season begins, get yourself out there and look around. The new Moon of the 8th could bring someone along who's just different and unusual enough to keep you interested.

During spring, an urge to learn something new will tempt you into taking classes or taking off for parts unknown with your partner. A proposal or a lovely invitation could come your way after the 23rd of May, too. Be prepared to make some changes for nothing but the most delightful of reasons.

Summer will be a fun, sociable season for you -- but expect some delays while traveling or attempting to keep your appointments between July 23rd and August 16th, when communicative, travel-loving Mercury will throw his engine into reverse -- in your own sign. During this time, always have a Plan B ready to go, and expect everything to take longer than you'd anticipated. This doesn't mean you won't enjoy yourself. In fact, you'll probably meet someone you never would have crossed paths with if you'd been where you were supposed to be.

Your natural talent for charming chitchat will be even more lethal during October. You may even be able to have a positive impact on a tough family situation. Take advantage of the good, warm feelings the holiday season inspires, and see if you can't remind loved ones of the importance of staying close. You may have some extra work heaped on your plate during mid-November, but it's nothing you can't handle. Travel plans will come together nicely during December, so make your arrangements and rest assured that all will be well.

2006: Leo Career

Your job might feel just a touch too demanding as the New Year starts. Cultivate efficiency and you'll have plenty of time for other pursuits, but expect to stay busy until at least February 8th. At that point you might find a new job opening or project interesting enough to take you away from your routine. March, especially, will be a time of transition.

Spring is all about new opportunities and directions. If you freelance, expect a new client that brings a different set of expectations. If you're on the clock, you'll see a creeping change in the way you relate to your industry. The last week in May will bring an offer or promotion that might be too good to pass up.

After all that change, summer will come as something of a relief to you -- slow and steady as she goes. In fact, from late July through mid-August, things will slow down so precipitously that you might stall out, especially if you work with communications, computers or education. You'll do well to have another project ready to move forward, preferably one on which progress can be made slowly.

October will pose a set of interesting problems for you, but each one can be settled without stretching too far from your normal mode. There might be tensions simmering in the workplace, but you won't have to get involved with any of that ugliness. November will be busy, especially mid-month, but you'll actually be glad to have the distraction. The holiday season will go well for you, but might be over too soon.

2006: Leo Romantic

Make time for some you-time as you kick off your brand-new year. The demands on your time are many, and a little maintenance on the ol' heart by way of some peace and quiet will stand you in good stead. Start your Valentine's festivities early on February 11th; you can sweep anyone off their feet, regardless of whether it's your longtime sweetheart or someone brand-new. March 15th may find you uncharacteristically indecisive about some matter of the heart. Give it a few days and your intuition will kick in; then you'll create some fabulous excitement around the 21st.

Spring brings the reawakening of love (or is that lust?) and the blooming of everything around you, which always makes you want to roar. However, the 11th of April begins a week in which singles on the prowl might want to tone it down a little, while long-term relationships go suddenly from a state of hibernation to spring fever. Look for more action in your love life from May 23rd to 25th, when your generous spirit is rewarded very sweetly indeed -- perhaps you're the one being swept off your feet now.

For a good time in June, you need look no further than the weekend of the 10th, when your always indisputable magnificence is virtually blinding. Issue sunglasses to your crowd of admirers, then see which one looks best in your lovely glow. If you're coupled up, let your intuition guide you around July 5th; after the fireworks fade, you can spark something special indeed. From July 23rd through August 16th, you'll want to be extra-super-cautious in communications with those you're romancing, as Mercury's in retrograde in your very own sign. Handle the inevitable mix-ups by dishing out some of your trademark generosity.

The very beginning of September's got your name written on it, so take that first weekend and have your way with it. The 10th and 11th, too, have you-plus-romance all over them. October finds your natural charm turned way, way up; the coupled up can enjoy some extra autumnal coziness, while singletons can attract someone as loving and loyal as they themselves. Holiday socializing heats up in mid-November, with you as always at the center of every party (holding the mistletoe over your own head, of course). Plan a getaway in December; it'll be romantic, whether you're traveling with your sweetie or going solo.