Sunday, April 30, 2006

Trapped inside my head

All my life I've been sitting n crying behind the very walls that I slammed shut....
Coz of course don't want the world to see me weak
Wonder what I'm so scared of?
What I'm running away from...
Wish there'd be someone to say, that no matter how hard I try to make them, they'll never leave.
I got to stop dreaming.
I got to stop driving myself crazy.
I feel trapped inside myself.
I gotta free fall....

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Caution! Wet Floor!

Techological development goes boink
Check out the scenario:
Early morning, some 2 n half years ago, I get a “Good Morning!” forward on my newly acquired cell. “Subah ho gayi maamu!” it blithely declared. In full fervor of the days of unlimited messaging, I proceeded to forward the happy message to all my dear buddies. Select forward, sent to many, name 1, press Ok, message sent, name 2, press OK, message sent, name 3, press Ok, message se…wait a minute! Not Ok! NOT OK!!! Name 3 is not a friend, it’s my lecturer!! Oh o! Please God, no! Please don’t go! Please don’t go! Blink comes on the light, “Message Sent”. All that is left for me to do is to pray, real, real hard that the lecturer in concern is not too concerned. (Well turned out he wasn’t, n no I’m NOT telling u his name!)

In the era of star wars and matrix fundas, even the communication blunders have become tech savvy. WIRED magazine has actually coined a term to describe this ominous time between hitting the ‘send’ button on your e-mail and realizing to your utter horror that you have sent it to the wrong person. It’s called the ‘onosecond’ (from the numerous ‘oh nos!’ that go up as the horrible reality hits you!). Well, sure makes sense.

It’s quite startling to think about the amount of things that can and more often than not, will go wrong, because of one wrong click. People have lost their jobs; relationships that took years to build have been ruined.

Technology is supposed to have made communications easier, quicker. But it also has made it easier to lay booby traps to catch innocent mortals who have less than a PhD in “How to Save Thyself from Being Fooled By Technology.” Take the example of my click happy roomie, who back in her school days, got this mail asking for a few personal details (stuff like ur crush n things that could be deadly if it reaches the wrong hands in school), with a promise of a horoscope. She being the gullible sort gave it all away. As she clicked ‘ok’ horoscope turned into horror scope as the message flashed across the screen, “This information has been sent to the person who sent you this link!”. Now I needn’t really explain what followed in school the next day. Well it did motivate her to take up a career in IT though!

It’s not just your meanie friends, even IT companies resort to similar dealings to keep a check on what their employees download from their free internet access at office. There are softwares to store all that you download from the net to a separate site. Those simple Ctrl A+ Ctrl C+Ctrl V that all of us use indiscriminately, caused one unfortunate Infy guy his job.

So also with the zillions of other things that we do under the illusion that we are safe in the relative anonymity and untracability of the www. But you will never know how those nasty comments that u, in a moment of devilish inspiration posted on u oh-so-funny blog, about that friend, that boos or teacher, can turn into one unholy mess if the victim of ur brilliant wit stumbles upon it. Plus once you post it in the cyber space, you really have no control over who reads it. You maybe sharing something personal with a friend, and suddenly everyone with a computer had heard about it. Suddenly ‘copyright’ seems such a redundant word.

For the terminally scatty and pathologically careless (like me, for instance), the very things that geeks love about technology are its many traps. Sometimes it can be as simple as forgetting to lock the keypad of your mobile before u put it in your pocket or bag. And then, speed dialing takes over, and lo and behold! You’ll suddenly find your balance going down the drain at drastic speed and your poor mom bellowing “Hello! Hello!” at the other end.

It’s quite ironical that for a generation that grew up on e-mails n sms, laughs heartily while watching their parents struggle with their mobiles, still fall into so many traps. We need to realize that no technology can ever be foolproof, because a. it is after all an outgrowth of the human brain, and b. lets face it, fools can really be indigenous (!).

Technology should probably come with a statutory warning, “Proceed with extreme caution, slippery ground ahead!” You can never be sure you know better. Take it from a person who, due to a childhood problem of short attention span, ahs gone through a lot of technology aided tragedies. For all who think they have seen it all, beware! Technology’s lurking around the corner!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Well oh well! Life can be funny at times. Well, most of the times actually. In Jan, my very old friend came down with chicken pox. Just a day before she was supposed to join for a much awaited job. Preventive medicines. Dose 1. Last months my brother came down with chicken pox. Just a day before he was going back to Mumbai after a break, n extended leave form office. Preventive medicine. Dose 2 AND 3. This month I came down with chicken pox. A day after I tried to book tickets to come home for Vishu. Brilliant!

Well, not much harm done though. Perfect timing actually. My pracs start on the 26th. If this had hit a week later, I'd have been in serious trouble. I went to Ooty 3 days before. Had it hit me those 3 days ago, a lot people would have been in serious trouble.

Getting sick, beyond some common cold, can actaully be quite an experience. Getting chicken pox sure makes u appreciate the little, n not very often noticed joys of life. Like the smell of soap n water on ur skin for instance. Or the freedom to go anyplace, talk to anyone. Or having paani puri with friends.

It makes u appreciate the people around u. The fact that it never occured to ur parents that ur falling sick spoilt their Vishu. Instead, they were just happy that, u were there at home with them...chicken pox and all. And that ur bro, tried to immitate, n fail spectacularly, ur chicken act that u did to tease him wen he was down with it, whenever he called. N that he called twice a day, n told ur mother to put rakthachandanam(red sandelwood?) with honey, to remove the marks-which apparently worked for his friend(!).

It makes u really really glad, that ur friends came to see u, take a long detour, from their way home after a tiring day at work. That they came out of their hostel, in the nite to see u off. Or that they call, to laugh at u for so long that u really give up and laugh with them at ur "sad plight" :)

I used to always boast/complain that I've never really had a serious diesease. All I used to get was irritatingly common colds, fevers, n endless headaches. Life's funny at times. Infact, most of the times. So is chicken pox. :)

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Sleep and Sensibility!

A tale of love, booze n Prince Charming!

We went to Ooty this weekend. We, being 8 of us. Well it ought to have been the mother of all unplanned trips. I didn’t even know that I’d be going till Thursday night, and on Friday night, we were already off! We almost went to Koorge, but eventually landed up in Ooty anyways. But well, this post is not to describe how unplanned, but good this trip was. Or how beautiful that place was. This post is dedicated to something that has always intrigued me, ever since I had my first meeting with them- Well, relationships.

I certainly wouldn’t qualify as a relationship expert. N no, I certainly am not trying to give love advice ( Who would, after having such disastrous experiences experimenting with it). I have never been in a serious relationship. My only claim to that realm, is a hardly 2 months long thing…which well, I still am not too sure how to describe in a “relationshipically correct” way. I knew, when it began that it would never get any where. While it lasted I was happy. When it ended I was still happy. I’m glad it ended when it did. And I’m glad we still could remain friends after that. At least for sometime.

But then that’s not the point either. I’ve never been in a so called serious relationship, but I know many people, who are, n many who claim to be. But one thing that’s always interesting to watch is, the way people act, when they are trying to head towards one. The phase, when people tell their friends, “he’s just a friend”, “we hardly know each other, but she definitely is different from the other gals”, “I dunno where this is headed” n blah.

Now if u are wondering what connection this has with Ooty, then let me explain. Well, on Saturday night, after the whole day of sight seeing, all of us returned home, tired n sleepy. The gals (that’s me n Theoti), and a couple of guys, where jus wanted to hit the sack. Couple of other guys, (that’s Eiffel tower, Mr. Would-Be Considerate (WBC), n our dear BOA) had plans to drink. In the end, all of us, except for A Cheta, decided to stay awake for a bit. After a while, the talk somehow steered towards relationships. Guess it was the booze for them n lack of sleep for us that did it!! Think it began with Mr.WBC commenting that Theoti n BOA make a very cute couple :)

So we were talking about how, in the first six months or so, it’s always about trying to impress the other. I’ve always wondered why. If u wanted someone to like u, or even fall in love with u, how does acting like someone u’re not, help? The guy or the gal in question, may go out with u, but isn’t leading that person on? And as a consequence u end up making compromises even after the first six months of so called courting (eurgh!! I can’t believe I said courting! I need to reassure u that, under normal circumstances, I certainly am not the kinds to use words like that!!!). It is at this point of the discussion that I said, “ If u pretend to be someone else, to make someone fall in love with u, u end up risking either living a lie your entire life, or losing the other person, when he or she realizes that u’re not the person he or she fell in love with.” ( God! My own brilliance surprises me at times!! ;D

It is true right? What’s the point in all that dressing up, and acting nice, pretending to be the Mr. or Miss Ideal?? I think that all those fairy tales, that we were fed while we were kids, lead us to believe that there really is a Prince Charming to rescue us out of the hopless normalcy of our lives. Or a Sleeping beauty who needs u to wake her up inside, and save her from the nothing she’s become ( copyrights still reserved to Evanescence). Or that happily ever after is not possible without these semi divine creatures.

In truth, all we need for that happily ever after is a wee bit of honesty, little love, respect, n lets face it, endless patience and a hell lot of luck!! And this philosophy will save u, not only a lot of heart break but all that money too. But of course, u’d miss out all the fine tuning u get for that admission into the National Institute of Drama!!

Ms. Know-It-All said : So much for sensibility. Hope my Prince Charming comes to know about it!! ;)