Thursday, May 22, 2008

O Woebegoneness

Apprarently it is standard practice (is that ce or se?) that something that looks like the real thing has to follow once you send teasers out. Why is that no one ever tells me all this stuff? Makes me wonder if I bunked the "standard practices in life at large" class in school to go off and catch some a-rated movie on the sly. Considering that I was one of those sad kids who never bunked a class in school *[nope, not to watch an a-rated movie, not even to watch a {insert your favourite letter here}-rated movie], this makes me wonder if I ever suffered from a brief case of MPD in my childhood. Be the case as it may, thanks to my most recent ex-roomie, I now stand with full knowledge of the teaser-related-standard-proceedures of life.

Now that I have finished my catchy, hook-the-reader-so-that-sHe-thinks-the-post-might-be-interesting kind of introduction, let move on. So, about this post. This is about, surprise, surprise, the little un-appreciated joys of life. Yeah. Right.

Anyway, ever tried returning to sqaure one? No, not finding yourself in it accidently as you go about your merry ways, but being half-pushed, half walking-in yourself into that 2/2 inch space, where your thoughts freeze and your brain, which was till now buzzing like the ladies compartment of a crowded Mumbai local train, suddenly goes into this weird like of white vaccum where the only perceptible sound is that of the dust covered fan turning? If you ever have, then you, my friend, will be nodding your head in sympathy for me, as I say that this is where I'm - in sqare one. For the sake of prudence on wire, I shall leave the glorious details for later.

Anyway [I know I started my last para with the exact same word, but indulge me for a bit here, will you?], when you're starved for some entertainment to feed that voraciously hungry mind, imagine how grateful you feel towards God for giving you politicians, and of course, 24/7 media channels.

Here's what has been sustanence, for the last few days:

The whole deal with judges holidaying in exhotic locales, with wife and kid to tow, all on tax-payers money, is suddenly the latest breaking news. So when CNN-IBN asked Union Law Minister H R Bhardwaj to give his valuable comment on this, the good Minister, who of course saw nothing wrong with the practice, says, [And I qouth CNN-IBN, who quoth the Minister]
"How can you deprive the wife? You are a woman. You should understand"

Can you beat that for an argurment? In front of such restounding display for sparkling logic, I feel humbled.

And Then...
The New Indian Express, Cochin, ran this "Worst Minsiter" contest to give some very valuable feedback to the champions in the Kerala State Assembly [and of course, to provide the tax evading junta to have a free go at the very same people whom they elected]. Not very surprisingly, the Education Minister, M.A.Baby won. But the real scoop came from elsewhere--from Mr. G. Sudhakaran, the Corporation Minister, who did not take it kindly that he came only third in the contest. So this venerable gentleman retorted, that when George Bush, with his inspired brilliance and might could not scare him, Goenka's paper with its measly bunch of "coolie writers" stands no chance. And since our minister is all of 5 years old, he's also added that the Consumerfed website [which is under his department] would publish a list of worst performing journalists in the state. Oh boy! I'll sure be holding my breath for THAT one!

And finally...

IPL seems to be turning into the mother of all gossip churners. The lastest is the accusations of racism, as two Kings XI cheerleeders were sent back for their skin colour. They were apparently told that the Indian public "do not like dark-skinned girls". Naturally, everyone is outraged. "Racist? Us??? We, the campions of equality, who invented tolerance, racist? How could you? Wasn't it our Gandhi who fought agaist apartheid in South Africa? Didn't our Shilpa Shetty forgive the bad bad people of Big Brother's House, who said nasty nasty thing to her? How can you ever call us racist? We can't even spell rasist!"

People, accept it. We are racist. Yes, we are. We SO are. Of course we are racist. We are castist, sexist too. Look at the number of serials that go on about the dark-skinned sister who can never get married, or the advertisment budgets of Fair and Lovely, and Fair and Handsome, or the matrimonial columns which still have people looking for "fair-skinned, convent educated, homley girls". So please, don't you tell me that we are not sexist, castist, or racist. I use Fair and Lovely too.

*I've decided that I do not really like the normal brackets, and shall be using square and curly henceforth. In case I forget that I don't like normal brackets, you my readers, yes, all 4 for you, are to remind me.


Id it is said...

So we (the human race)are racist...what is new about that?

These little flaws and idiosyncrasies add flavor to our make up and thus the likes of Hollywood and penguin publications have thrived over centuries.
Good to see you back.

asmita said...

finally it comes... the toatk acceptance of the glaring truth...
Satya has won!!!!! :D

Well you sounded like someone who has been givn the last opportunity to say something to the world before you die...
But what's new in that? It's just you :P

Tsu said...

well.. I want to comment. but not sure which aspect of that post to start with. IPL is more of entertainment than cricket. saddens me but I am hoping younger players are recognised in this whole setting!
Politicians have no accountability. They say what they say. They change parties also, belief is just a ticket to power.
I think in this world there are many square ones. But they all £%£$ feel the same!!! :)

crumbs said...

@ id,

these little flaws are little as long as they are just adding colour to Hollywood, but when you have to live with it everyday, at some point they become much bigger, and then when you can handle it anymore, it sometimes is too late. I sometimes think that half the problems in this world will vanish if only people were honest about it. Denial is fun for a while, but it can protect you only for so long...

@ asmita

have you promised someone that you will never be nice in blogosphere? :P
and welcome to inconsequensial annonymity, hope your trip here was fruitful and entertaining :D

@ tsu

That's the whole point of square ones right? They are all meant to be %&**& same! ;)

D said...

Neat write-up...but forgive me for saying this, I find it very boring when the intellegntsia of the country quote same examples for politicians, media channels and in general on our racist behaviour.
May be am too unsuccessful to comprehend, but i do belive that the first two are earning their bread and churning out stuff for infotainment, entertainment, edutainments and f****tainment (if such a word exists) what's the point in burdening them with our aspirations and beliefs (if any). The public at large is free to give those advt or apply those magic lotions. I'll be least bothered even if they come with "virgin-needed" advts, or the doctor-prescribed potions.
And yes, i never bunked my school, i studied at a place where there were no cinema halls or for that sake any place of public entertainment. But the avenues to "teaser-related-standard-proceedures of life" were plenty. And somehow i blv that amongst all, such friends or service providers are the best, coz either they want to you sell something or simply hidden motives :)
P.S.- Sorry for such a long rant.

crumbs said...

I don't mind the long rant, but I'm a li'l confused who that is directed to...the countries intellegentsia, the politicians and media channels, or me? :)
About media channels and politicians earning their bread, the point here is that that is not how they are expected to earn their bread. And isn't projecting our aspirations and beliefs on our political leaders the fundamental reason why we elect them? So if we just cynnically give up the hope, what is the point of the whole electoral process?
The post was to just laugh at two hilarious situations. And about you not being bothered with "virgin-needed" adverts or doctor prescribed potions, well I wish there were more like you. But what you dont perhaps realise is that they are not demeaning for you, because they do not concern you. But there are a whole lot of people who find these rude, and insulting. And surprising as it may sound, for them, it is a huge deal.

Prude said...

How do we make sure you always use square and curly brackets if you don't continue writing. Post fellow blogger!

Anonymous said...

i found out! incosequential is right and practise vs practice is still confusing... moot