Friday, February 10, 2006

Hitchhiker's Guide to Life

Why? Why? WHY????
It's the bloody end of year! End of my last year in college. The it might as well be the end of life, comfortable n relatively carefree, as I know it.

I say relatively, because it really is not all that carefree. Is it ever? I think we human beings, as a race are literally born with cares. They just differ in degree as we move on.
When u're just born, perhaps your greatest worry would be if that big thing that keeps lifting u up n pampering u, wen u re feeling cranky, will someday just get fed up with ur grouchyness n call it quits. U'd probably wonder how u can just ve such limited means of putting ur problems accross...I mean, u pee, u wail, u want food, u wail, u r too hot, u wail, u r too cold, u wail, u wanna die and all u an do is still wail. Bloody u can't even turn on ur stupid back, where the hell are u gonna do anthing else???

Then u learn to talk...then ur biggest worry would be wen to stop...u suddenly have so many darn things to say, so many zillion things to ask, u start to wonder if u should even take time to breath of a sec, in case u wont be able to ask all what u wanna in this small lifetime.

Then u learn to I think most of us just learn to run direct.Then suddenly, the world looks so much bigger.U discover corners of the universe that u'd never imagined possible. Run, run, Forrest Gump (is that how u spell his name?).Just keep on moving.

Till we run ourselves to the gates of school...from then on, its running backwards, or running away...
In primary school, u r all happy. Boy! There are so many fascinating things in the world. But the first doubts creep in.Will u ever be as smart as ur pretty teacher? (gosh! she knows so much!). Will u be left with that ugly looking kid at recess? Will u be left with the last black crayon??? Will u be ever as cool as ur bro/sis is high school?

Then u actually huff n puff ur way to high school...n bingo! Suddenly, high school is a lot less cooler, now that u've got there. There's that definite class bully to make ur existance miserabe (as if pimples n puberty were not enough already). Then there's that cute chick/guy, who just refuses to acknowledge ur presence. Maybe the blame's not all his/hers. If only u didn't act like a spastic who's gonna choke on gum, everytime u wanna so much as say howdy. Then of course, a whole battalion of teachers who expect u to be a mathamatical genius, on the verge of a major invention that will change the way science thinks, who also plays basketball n goes cross country jogs in her sparetime, all the while quoting Shakrspear n Shelley.

Then the boards. Ok now ur parents, ur teachers n the entire humanity unanimously decide, that u deserve NO social life(not that any page 3 regular wld ve felt threatened by ur exciting social life), NO excitement (spare one odd test in one odd term that u may actually pass), n of course absolutely NO TV (there goes the one thing that didnt cringe wen u came in front of it...ur only escape from the morose reality that is ur life). So you finally manage to push n pull n drag urself through those too. Then the big choice...Science or Commerce??? Unless u re that dumb that u can take nothing but miserable Arts (horror!horror!)
So u take compromise n take commerce. Scrape through the next 2 years of endless accounts n mismatched balance sheets, n failed economic policies. On the last day of ur 12th boards, ur sense of joy's probably marred only by ur extreme fear of being rejected by all the colleges that u applied to.

Surprise! Surprise! Some college finally does agree to lower its standards to ur level. Then the three years...three wonderful uniforms, no rules. The ones that are there, are meant to be broken. Friends...who for once dont really care if u r not the coolest one(probably coz they kw they re not either!) Life spent in the cafeteria, canteen, everywhere but class. But at the end of those years, u'll have figured out more than the rest of ur life put together.

That, comes to an end now. What is left, is an empty road...the one that I need to walk alone. Friends, teachers, parents...will only protect me this far. So what I need to know is, did it have to end like this? Did my friends have to become strangers?


Sylvia said...

That's just life. Nothing's perfect.

moontalk said...

@ sylvia
yup i knw. if it were, we wldnt believe that it was true :)

chimera_nids said...

My lord, i always thought that childhood was fun and that I could have fun whenever i wanted...yet i could identify with the ambivalence...

Dunno..I wish you would keep in touch with your friends and yourself.

Jim said...

Relax, it gets better. Now that you're out of college, your responsibilities merely shift, they don't get any bigger/smaller. In a while, you'll find you're actually proud of yourself, that you can juggle work, (potential) relationships, family, getting to work on time and (shudders) face Monday mornings armed with nothing but your confidence and a mug of coffee.

About friends: I'm told for normal people friends do stick around and communicate even after college is done. Here's how it worked for me: in college we used to skip class and watch a movie "Gandhi class". Once we started working, however, we had more duddu to go around, and the meeting places just got a bit more upscale. Sure, we didn't see each other every day, but it was still good. Plus, (again, for normal people), you make friends at work too. So don't worry about that.

moontalk said...

@ nidhi
hey thats not my childhood buddy.was pretty pissed off so all that frustration :)
hmmm...wats with the special emphasis on normal ppl dude???u making allegations at my sanity???how rude!!!i kw i'm nuts but i still prefer if ppl dont make prima facie accusations ;0
but yeah i kw true frinds will keep in touch...n i kw i'll make friends at work.i already ve friends at wrok so well its cool...but cant deny that it still pinches...this end of coll

Jim said...

Normal = everyone (including you). Abnormal = me (aka, the Hermit). Sorry I gave you the wrong idea. :/ Now I know why I'm a hermit.


moontalk said...

@ jim
hey no mate!ws jus kidding!
i take it was compliment if someone calls me not-normal :)
so y u suc a hermit?dont tell me u lost hope on humankind so soon...we(that includes both u n me...n well rest of the population) as a race re not that bad!!;)

Me Thinks.. said...

peoplw who take arts in their pu are not bad in maths or science... they suck at it!! he he he
actually they dont some are multi talented so they give others a chance to succeed!!
what about 'friends' who were always strangers??