Some Gentleman’s Game This

On Tuesday, Nov 28^th, the front page of TOI carried a photograph that quite simply made my blood boil. Couple of Lok Janashakthi Party “activists” smearing cow dung, on the picture of the Indian cricket team, and on the walls of cricketer Mohhamad Kaif’s house. What sort of a behaviour is that? What filthy attitude is that? Okay, so the whole country is angry because of the team’s dismal performance. I am too. We are a cricket crazy nation. We are an otherwise crazy nation too. The players are some kind of demi-gods, with temples dedicated to them. India wins; it’s a nation wide party. If it loses, then it’s the Great Depression. Before every world cup, people take it on themselves to conduct pujas on the players’ behalf, for the team to perform well. It’s like the team is this giant kid, going to give it’s broad exams, with the expectations of a family of a billion, weighing upon it.

And I have always thought that we have a team made for the population. It’s equally unpredictable. And just as crazy. It loses matches that seem like a breeze. And when the whole world has said the last word, the Men in Blue go down under and pull out a miracle.

But honestly, this time I think we have broken all boundaries. Both the team in dismally sad performance, and the rest of the country in over reacting. What right do some nutty party non-workers to go deface a player’s house? Smear it with cow dung? A follow up a few days later said that the family was considering moving out of UP because it had become difficult for them to live in such psychotically hostile surroundings. If I remember right, some hooligans has previously thrown stones at the house in a previous incident. I can understand their decision to move, what I don’t understand is why.

It is about time we act a little more grown-uppish about the game. Okay, it is not just a game, it is a religion. But no one says religion has to always involve violent knee-jerk reactions, and harm to people and property. Or is it that religious riots and violence in the name of Gods, and now demi- gods, has become the part of the Indian way of life?

First thing to do, would be to actually chuck that precious coach of ours. I don’t really care to analyze his coaching or cricketing abilities. He just can’t seem to know how to conduct himself in public, and honestly, he is made more news for his controversial comments and nit-pickings- first with the then-caption, and now with the MPs, than he has ever done for the team’s performance under him. We don’t need a coach to teach our players how to play cricket, they are good at it on their own. We need a coach to bring the players together to perform as a team, and perform well. And this, Mr. Chappell has sorely, dismally, failed to do. He is appointed to do a job in a country that is not his own, he could begin with having some respect for that country. And not play the smart ass there, and always pass the buck to someone else all the time. I don’t remember one incident, where Chappy has come forward to take responsibility, and said, “the team didn’t perform well, it was a joint responsibility, we are sorry”. Instead, he is full of complaints, for the team, for the captain, for the MPs and for the board. WTF?!!!

And now, dear darling Members of the mighty Indian Parliament, are you really so starved for attention? Why is that you are so hell bent on losing what ever little respect that we have for you? Ooh ooh! A defense scandal! The defense minister has to step down! Ooh! Ooh! A communal riot! The CM should step down! Ooh! Ooh! Pakistan sneezed! The Prime Minister step down! Please, stop thinking that asking people to resign whenever there is a controversy, will immediately solve all the country’s problems. If it did, we won’t need you. Well, on second thoughts, we don’t need you anyways.

And to my fellow media guys, people! Why do have to work so hard to make our MPs look like a bunch of bumbling fools? Stop trying to reinvent the wheel, and start publishing on some real news. If you don’t stop hounding the minister to get sound bites, and stupid remarks, you probably miss Ash and Aby’s baby lighting a diya together, Ganga kinaare, after they fought about Ash- Hritik kiss being 2 secs too long. After all that is breaking news we all are holding our breath for.

And to the Men In Blue, COME ON guys!!!!

Miss Know-It All said: The blue billion rises. The so do the Men- in- Blues! It’s all just fizz. Sab moh maya hai!