Thursday, August 17, 2006

All In a day's work- Episode 2

I promised a more detailed post bout my collegues. So here it is.

We are all of 4 people in the office. Well, that will be were, now that one's quit.(We belive in "chota parivaar, sukhi parivaar"). Before I crash landed, it was 2 guys and a gal (no pizza place, only one small idli-dosa place, and a bakery) Now that I made my magnificent entry, its 2 guys and 2 gals. (and still no pizza place, only an occasional biscuite and Kurkure). N then CC quit, so now we are back to 2 guys and a gal.(no pizza place still)

Having just 4 people means we miss out a whole lotta "employee benefits". We get only one measly Sunday off, as long as some sucker doesn't decide that he wnats to have his company's "fun day-out" that particular day of the week. We dont not have public holidays, 8 hours workday, or a pick-up bus/cab/bike. We do not get Sodex-ho! coupons that we can sell off to our friends for money when we are broke. And no we do not get mediclaim, PF and an HR/ Corporate Communications team that sends us bright happy mails every week to tell us what an invaluable asset we are to the company. We don't even get award for getting our ass to office on time or get our photograph pasted in the bulletin board saying "The most happening Employee of the day" Heck, we dont even have a bulletin board.

Instead, we get to fight for whose gets a desk next to whom, discuss books, movies, and each other's lives. We also get to ask THE Boss to give us some money if we are broke. *Please?Please Pretty please!!* We can all go out drinking and expect THE Boss to pay. We can play Harry Potter quiz, socialize on gtalk, blog, read Crime Library and The Onion, download about 15 MB of Calvin and Hobbes and not have a Firewall pop-up n say "busted!" or get dissaproving mails from the HR talking about the importance of "optimal use of time and resourses to maximize productivity and minimise employee fatigue" or other such vague statements found in MBA and Organizational Psychology books.

So much for my work environment, now to move on to my fellow-inhabitants in the workplace. I'll shall begin at the top of the food-chain.

THE Boss. Self-explainatory. He's the unquestioned caption of the ship. The Big Wheel. The Fattest Fish in the pond. So as to speak. His biggest worry in life is that we don not treat him "boss enough". He's the one man army, the guy who literally visualises the whole works, and then gets it done too. IQ of some 140, he believes that the weird lines that pop up his phone's display screen are part of secret transmissions for the SETI. ( search for extra terrestrials international...duh!) He also believes you should never refuse an offer for samosas. Whenver he says, "I'll be back in half an hour ok? I'll meet this guy and come back" it means that you will see him only the next day. He knows like 3 quaters of the town, and 4/5ths of the town knows him. Which means that the longest his phone goes without ringing is about 5 mins and 47 seconds. 6, if happens to be early in the morning. Quite a guy!

Caramel Custard. Second in command, she is the iron lady. Was, to be sure, coz she's quit now. She's been in the company forever. So she literally knows everything that is there to know. She's the practical one, even though she randomly makes statements like "I feel like a caramel custard.I feel like this giant piece of caramel custard!" The mamma hen. And she sure looks out for her pack like one too. "THE Boss Please don't pick up our cell while riding!" "LD eat your salad da, whats wrong with you? Look how much weight you have lost" "LD Stop smoking so much!" "Moontalk, stop with the junk food. Look at this gal da, she survives on biscuits and ice cream!". Thinks I am a total kid despite of my earnest efforts to prove otherwise. Keeps thinking our clients look, and act like various animals. So far we've had frog, mouse, and bat. :D She's my mentor, and to be honest, I feel a bit lost, now that she's left. And bored. :(


The Lost Don. Third of my wonderful team mates. Slightly lost in life, he suffers from a mild case of delusional disorder. Hates my guts. The feeling, of course, is mutual.
LD: "Moontalk! Call XYZ and ask him if he's free to do a polka dance for me on the 29th. Fast!"
Moontalk: " Can't you see I'm busy discussing how the frog acted when he saw water, with caramel custard? You do it youself, it's your project!"
LD: "I'm the KING. The master of the universe. You have to listen to me"
Moontalk: "Yes Your Majesty" *rolls eyes*
Caramel Custard: "You two make such a cute couple! Kids, you are so adorable" *sniff*
Moontalk: *Barf!*

And, he also thinks THE boss is his "god father" (right!), which is why I call him the Lost Don.
To be fair, he can be quite considerate when he wants to. Like the time, he quitely bought me lunch when I said I don't wanna eat (truth was I was broke, and I didn't wanna say that!). In fact he gets me lunch all the time, when I feel too lazy to walk up till our regular eating joint. So, well. He can be nice too. Comes up with the crrraziest of ideas all the time. Thinks office of profit bill is the same as out of office bill. Says, "I got fully psyched" some 56 times a day. Oh did I mention that he's a karake champ (which is why I don't really push my luck too much in arguements!) and smokes like a chimney?

Alge Eyes. Our resident sound enggineer. Technically he's not part of the team. But he's more or less always there, so it more or less, qualifies him to be an employee off rolls. He and THE boss are till- death- do- us- part buddies, much to the chargin of CC, who happens to go around with Alge Eyes(so naturally she thinks that he should be till-death-do-us part with her, and NOT THE boss :D). He and THE boss have once picked up a stop sign off the road, just like that. "That thing was so irritating da!". He's also the sweetest thing! Has eyes in some weird shade that alters between green and brown. Loves music, and everything that's gotta do with sound.

So there! That's my happy family there! Ours is an office where people can whistle at work(that's me), read Crime Library(thats CC), hide ciggeretts(wrong spelling?) in weird places(no prizes for guessing it LD), and generally be happy. All in a day's work!

1 comment:

Avinash said...

hi,

can please tell me, how a sodex coupons or food coupons help in tax as well how can use it for me in my daily activities?

regards
Avinash