What colour is Oblivion?

Today in Sudu's class for O.E (Sudu is our drama teacher, Mr. Sudhamshu, spelt with an 'm', Sudu with love:)), we watched the docu, 'Final Soluton'...by Rakesh Sharma. We are reading Mahesh Dattani's play, 'Final Solutions', n Sudu always tries to got that extra mile with his classes, so the screening. Though I do have a hunch that the fact that all of us blattenly refused wake up from our bored stupor n participate in the discussions last class, which made him order us to "bugger off", 15 mins into class, may have played a small role!

To be very honest, it was not all the easy to digest...the docu I mean. Sure all of us have heard a lot bout the imfamous Godhra riots. Read a lot, seen a lot. But it still pulled your heart right out of ur ribcage, n twisted it bad to watch a li'l kid...probably not even 5 years old say that he saw his grandpa n uncles being brutally murdered. That he saw his dad's fingers being chopped off wen he tried to save them. That his mother, his aunt were stripped right in front of his eyes, before their limbs where chopped off. He wondered, why they stripped only the womenfolk. But even in his innocent mind, he knew who "they" were..."woh Hindu log hai na..."

I could feel the anger swell inside me as I heard Praveen Togadia proclaim to the crowds, that we need to forget Gabdhi to "fight injustice". I could feel the sorrow, wen a lady cried that she saw poor starving infants being thrown into the fire...that she still gets nightmares. Wen the cemetry keeper told the camera man that he'd lose his mind if he saw the scratches, the wounds on the breasts of the dead bodies of women brought to be buried...

We couldn't watch the whole docu...the 55 mins of class didnt permit. So we decided to wait till the next class to continue.

As I was walking out of the media lab, I was already thinking about the psychology presentation I had to make for the next class. Got out, saw Danny, smiled at her. She smiled back, n commented, "Not one of the best way to start my way". For a minute, I stared at her blankly. Didnt get wat she was referring to. Then it hit me. The docu. Can u believe it? I had already forgotten! I, who was so deeply affected by the plight of those hapless thousands. So deeply angered by the injustce of it all. Deeply affected! My own hypocracy shocked me.

What was wrong with me? What is wrong with all of us? How could we forget? How did we allow ourselves to forget...so soon? So easily?

"Those who forget history are condemded to relive it" George Somebody. And so we re...reliving it...time after time. Godhra. Mumbai. Babri Masjid. Delhi. Bhopal...time after time

What have I really seen in life? I ve not known real hunger...the one that pinches. I ve not seen war. Not seen hatred...the kind that makes u kill unborn children. I dont know what suffering is. Does that mean what I've seen in life is all a dream? An illusion? Meaningless waste? Do I really realise how fortunate I am? Or am I?

I know pain. BUT I also know what it is to be loved. What it is to be liked...AND disliked. I can see beauty in life, in this world. I can feel the joy of walking in the rain, of staring at a starlit sky, of walking barefoot on wet grass...of feeling the sea waves touch my feet n go...I can look at a child smile at me, and feel happy to be alive.

But what bout that li'l kid? Will he look at midnight sky filled with a million stars, n realise that God must love us guys down here..or will he relive the horrors of that horrible night when all his people, his world, were brutually destroyed? Will that lady ever get a peaceful nights's sleep...without the nightmares?

God...how can u make the same world so diffrent for 2 people at the same time?

Ms. Know-it-all asked: Will u remember that kid tmorrow?
I hope I never ever forget...again.